Valentine’s day is a day to be with your partner and prove to them that you will love them till death. A day filled with heart chocolates, cuddles, nice fancy dinners, and butterflies in your stomach. All of these things sound pleasant, but what about the people who don’t have a partner? How will they spend their day? Who will they share their love with? In truth, a large crowd of people find themselves alone on the day of love and end up feeling lonely, upset, angry, unworthy, etc. Speaking from experience, witnessing couples around you can only fuel the fire of jealousy and/or sadness. If you end up feeling this way when the day comes, don’t worry about the happiness of the couples around you that you can’t control, instead focus on your happiness!
A crucial part of a person’s journey through life is self-love. Understanding and truly enjoying yourself can open up a whole new pathway to happiness. Don’t let the couples around you affect the way you feel, instead acknowledge that they are happy and that their happiness, in no way, shape, or form, affects you one bit. The reason those same couples are happy is because they’re doing things that they like to do. So, rather than sulking and allowing yourself to become even sadder, go do something that you find fun! Whether it’s binge-watching your favorite Netflix show, hiking, going to the gym, listening to music, or painting, just go do it. Distracting yourself is a double-edged sword in a lot of cases, but if you distract yourself with things you like to do, you’ll most likely end up in a better emotional state than where you started. Better yet, this is a chance for you to maybe pick up a new hobby. Life is full of new experiences, so use this opportunity to do something you’ve never done before. If you try it out and like it, great! If you try it out and don’t like it, great; you finally got to see if you would actually like doing something like that. Not only are you fulfilling that want you had, but you’re also being productive. Think about it, if you weren’t going to distract yourself, you would probably be doing nothing and laying in your bed. The main point of this strategy is to get you to turn your head and look the other way!
Where do you think all the singles are seeing these couples having fun? If you guessed social media, you are correct! Nowadays, many people can attest to seeing someone broadcasting their happiness on social media. On a day like Valentine’s Day, without a doubt, couples will be posting on their stories about how much they enjoy each other and how happy they are with each other, so if you know you’re going to be saddened by such things, do not be afraid to schedule a social media break that day. Generally speaking, if a person removes themselves from the thing that is making themselves unhappy, eventually, they will feel the opposite. So, on Sunday, keep that screen time down and enjoy the time you spend idolizing these couples with yourself. Trust me, you’re doing yourself a favor. Just think about it, you’re killing two birds with one stone; you’re removing the something that is causing you pain, as well as living in reality rather than spending all day on your phone. Live in the moment, rather than wishing that you were in another person’s situation.
The lonely usually add to their sorrow by way of comparison. By comparing themselves to other people, they “explain” to themselves that they are less of a person than the one they are observing. This behavior is clearly toxic, so instead of comparing yourself to a person, show yourself how great you are. Personally, I write down all my ideas to make my thought process a lot more systematic and clearer. This strategy takes out the scramble of my mind and allows me to clearly state the thoughts inside of my head. If you end up feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day, write down everything that you like about yourself. As you participate in this process, you will realize that these features that you have pointed out are unique to yourself. At the same time, you start to understand that you truly love and cherish these unique attributes that you have. Throughout the process, you may think of things that you don’t like about yourself. It’s completely normal for these kinds of thoughts to pop into your head, but do not dwell on them! If you know you don’t like something write it down and come back to it after you have written all the things you like about yourself. Please note that the areas you’ve laid out to yourself should be looked at as extra room for improvement, not as problems. But if you do take that perspective, remind yourself that all problems have solutions to them. While you attempt to come up with a plan to make small improvements over time, cater towards yourself. If you know a certain plan or strategy will not work the greatest for yourself, come up with a different one. After you finalize and start your plan, log the milestones that you reach and understand that every step you are taking is towards self-improvement and ultimately self-love. This process is meant to shed light on the fact that there is good in every person and also nudge you in the right direction towards an overall positive emotional state.
If you’re still feeling down, take some time out of your day to visit our Spotify page. I’ve made three playlists for Valentine’s Day. The names of the playlists are “HEARTTHROB”, “HEARTBREAK”, and “UPLIFT”. The first of the three is targeted towards the people enjoying their time with their partner, the second should be used as a catalyst for starting up the waterworks, and the third is used to bring a person’s mood up. The two I really focused on making are the last two. Please know, it is okay and healthy to cry every now and then, and if you know you need to, “HEARTBREAK” will set the mood for you. Afterwards, think about using “UPLIFT” to get you out of that state of mind you were once in. I’d also like to note that a fellow College Dress Relief member, Dre’Vin, designed the cover arts for these playlists. This is only the start to our Spotify page, so stay tuned for more! Use the playlists at your own will and consider giving the rest of our Spotify playlists a listen, and maybe even drop a follow. But don’t forget, LOVE YOURSELF!
Written By: Owen Myers
Edited By: Crystal Lord